Last night, a 26-year old man was apprehended in Houston for a criminal act that will be talked about for a long time. Steven H., an IT consultant in his daily life, came under the police’s scrutiny after admitting to a friend that he was looking forward to playing the video games Marvel’s Spider-Man 2 and Starfield. However, what the transgressor didn’t know was that this so-called friend was an undercover agent, whose goal was to extract more information about Steven’s true interests. The fact that these true interests were divided across two different gaming platforms, led to a massive shock within the gaming community.
For readers who have been living under a rock recently, Bethesda’s Starfield is set to release on September 6 for PC and Xbox Series X/S. Developer Insomniac Games is bringing Marvel’s Spider-Man 2 to the Playstation 5 on October 20. Naturally, it is strictly prohibited to look forward to games that belong to different consoles. One is only allowed to discuss games that are on their own platform. Showing any interest towards another platform has previously led to social media blockades, dismissals, death threats, and prison sentences that can extend for decades.
Born for Media exclusively spoke to undercover agent Thomas S. (a pseudonym in order to protect his true identity), who can look forward to a promotion and a commendation.
BfM: “The success of undercover missions requires a healthy dose of deception. Do you feel no guilt about the fake friendship you built with Steven H. over the past months?”
Thomas: “Steven H. is a true criminal, and the world has become a better place now that he’s behind bars. During my pretended friendship, I caught him multiple times speaking positively about several gaming platforms. Any guilt I might or might not have had was immediately washed away when I heard him say he planned to enjoy both Spider-Man and Starfield. My hands were itching, but fortunately, I managed to maintain my cover with a good deal of self-control, and now he can be brought to justice through official institutions.”
BfM: “Is there a message you’d like to convey to the gaming community, to prevent something like this from happening again?”
Thomas: “Absolutely. Stick to your lane. Gamers who dare to have an open mind and look beyond their noses are the scum of the earth. And they will be judged as such. There’s no room in our society for these radical individuals. I won’t rest until every gamer who owns multiple platforms is swept off the streets. Justice will prevail. Feel free to write that up for your little magazine.”
In addition to the hero of the day, we also had a chance to speak with perpetrator Steven H. before he was taken away.
BfM: “Where did things go so wrong?”
Steven H.: “I don’t know. All I know is that I deeply regret my actions. I should have known better and should have stuck to the existing selection on offer for my console. In a moment of madness, I wanted to broaden my horizons and enjoy more of what the gaming world had to offer. However, that’s not allowed, and I knew that all along.”
BfM: “What lesson do you take from this? What’s your plan when you’re released?”
Steven H.: “First and foremost, I’ll try to improve my life. When I’m released, I want to do so as a better person. I’d like to caution others against making the mistake I did. Gaming diversity simply has no place in society. Let this serve as a warning.”
BfM: “Are you more disappointed about now missing out on Starfield or Marvel’s Spider-Man 2?”
Steven H.: “No comment.”
Perhaps a reformed Steven can embark on an adventure of Marvel’s Spider-Man 5 or Starfield 3 in a few decades. Hopefully, by then, he will have learned his lesson and will stick to either Playstation 8 or Xbox 180.
