Ubisoft is the punching bag of the class. The developer is that kid who is always picked last in gym class. The one who can never do anything right and who always gets laughed at. If Ubisoft accidentally makes a good joke, no one in the class laughs. But if the popular kid makes the same joke, the whole class is laughing so hard they’re gasping for air.
Ubisoft only gets mediocre grades in school, just barely passing. When he comes home and shows his report card to his parents, they say, “At least you did your best, son.” He scrapes by, just barely making it to the next school year.
When there are school parties, Ubisoft is only invited because it’s the polite thing to do. Every boy is slow dancing with a girl, except for Ubisoft. He’s standing alone in a corner, sipping his soda, thinking about how he might one day turn that C into a B.
People gossip about him. “Here comes Ubislop, just watch, he’s going to turn in another half-baked final project to the teacher. Something predictable, risk-free, hastily put together that falls apart due to technical issues.” The other gossiper giggles and adds, “Yeah, and another project that’s hardly any different from his previous creation, hihi. He always promises the world but never delivers.”
School isn’t easy. There’s a lot of homework, so Ubisoft always wants to finish his projects as quickly as possible to make room for the next one. It’s not his fault there aren’t enough hours in the day, right? And if things have to be rushed sometimes, so be it. As long as he can keep his head above water and quickly move on to the next task.
Ubisoft desperately wants to fit in with the cool kids in the class, the ones all the girls hang on to every word they say. That’s why Ubi sometimes tries to imitate their behavior and overcompensates. But this only makes his behavior come across as forced. Sometimes, the poor kid feels a bit hopeless. No matter what he does, it’s never good enough.
To overcompensate, Ubisoft has so often made grand announcements and oversold his work that no one takes him seriously anymore. His words are always met with skepticism. He can make promises, but everyone assumes he will never deliver on them. Ubisoft starts at a disadvantage, already trailing 1-0 before the game even begins.
So when Ubisoft finally delivers a genuinely good project, the skeptics line up to tear it apart. It’s simply inconceivable that the kid has actually produced work that he, and his parents, could be proud of.
At the coffee machine, Ubi’s teacher grins and says to a colleague, “Ubi claims he’s created yet another groundbreaking piece of work.”
“Oh yeah? And it’s probably just as terrible as usual?” the colleague chuckles.
“I don’t know,” the teacher replies. “I had better things to do than go through the whole project in detail. I just skimmed through it quickly and gave it another mediocre grade, as always. You know, for the effort.”
“Can’t argue with that. I do the same with Naughty. He always gets top marks, I don’t even have to look at his work; I just write an A+.”
That evening, Ubisoft sits alone in his room once again, holding a barely passing grade marked with numerous negative comments. A tear rolls down his cheek as he reads the feedback from a teacher who couldn’t be bothered to look beyond the surface.
Ubi is aware that he has often made false promises. But this time, he was genuinely convinced that his work deserved praise.
